The Downside of Dating a Measuring Cup

12 Nov

Some people like boys. Some people like girls. Some people like both. And some people like objects. They are known as “Object Sexuals” and I think they have the right idea. There is a women who is LEGALLY MARRIED to the Eiffel tower. There is a women who has a OPEN RELATIONSHIP with an archery bow.

Wouldn’t life be so much simpler by dating inanimate objects? Mostly yes, but even then relationship problems could arise…..


“I think Dave is cheating on me, scoundrel going behind my back like that.”

“Well he is a back massager.”


“Craig broke up with me, he said he had outgrown me. 2 years down the drain, but what do you expect from an oak tree.”


“He…..he…he beat me, he BEAT me, when we first started dating he promised he only ever did that to eggs.”


“Well we went to dinner and a movie and he made me pay for myself for both. You would expect more from a wallet.”


“Our relationship has been a little rocky since Greg has gone through his-midlfe crisis, he went out and bought himself a new pair of wheels…..but you know Bicycles.”


“I like Jerry but he always smokes after sex.”

“Which one is Jerry?”

“The oven.”



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