My Open Mic Introduction

20 Nov

I went to an open mic a few weeks ago and the way it was run was that the guy before you introduces you. This is the introduction I received WORD FOR WORD (because I have it on tape). I did not know the guy who introduced me.

“The next guy up…it actually might be a girl now that I think about it, holy shit ,we don’t really get those very much….Hey o my goodness, no way, well FUCKIN-A, no, uh, the thing about this is, this guy is an old old old friend, it goes way back to BED-WETTERS CAMP. Funny story, he got kicked out for having sex with the staff, like he was having sex with this girl and…it wasn’t so much that he was having sex with her as he just refused to give her wheelchair back after the sex. So if you see this guy cruising around in a wheelchair make sure you get that shit back…here’s Harris Alterman.”


2 Responses to “My Open Mic Introduction”

  1. Uncle Donnie November 21, 2012 at 8:20 pm #

    Harris that stuff is good enough to be on the David Letterman show. No kidding or no ‘shit’
    Love you grat neph!

  2. bumpynose November 29, 2012 at 3:04 am #

    Yikes! Pretty funny intro, but, I assume it wasn’t all to your liking? Next time, have a pre-written intro for yourself on a note card. Make it funny if you’d like, or just plain simple. A great way to hit the stage is to have a well prepared intro that will lead in to your first bit! When you hit the stage, they’ll already be laughing, (for the right reasons) and you can get started with a BANG!

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