Top Ten Resume Tips

5 Dec

Here are my top ten resumes tips to help you get a job.

1) Add some color to the thing.

This isn’t 1936 alright Charlie Chaplin. I’m not talking a lot of color, but maybe a nice underline of blue at the top, or some colored border. Don’t go all Van Gogh on me, but add SOMETHING to catch the eye of the recruiter.

2) No spelling errors or grammar errors. 

It’s been said a million times but people still don’t get it. If I’m a recruiter and I see an error, I instantly throw your resume in the trash, cover it in lighter fluid, and drop a match in. To avoid this from happening, get ten different people to check your resume for errors.

3) Keep it to one page 

Everyone should be able to condense their resume to one page. Recruiters don’t have time to read a 3-pager. I swear to the lord some people find it necessary to include EVERYTHING that has ever happened to them and their resumes go on FOREVER. One girl’s resume I read ended with, “And before God created the earth, all we had was dark matter and silence.” By the time I had finished reading her resume, she had died of old age and I was 96. Keep it to one page.

4) Leave off Stuff from High School

“You were in your high school’s honor society? Wow, impressive, we’re making you CEO.” That will never happen. High school accomplishments are great to tell your kids one day, but when a recruiter is looking at that paper, they probably don’t care. This advice is for people 20 and above.

5) Make sure your Interests/Personal Section is Unique 

The point of the Interests/Personal section is show how unique you are. If you put your interests as reading, movies (and I’ve seen that many a times) etc. , that doesn’t make you stand out. If I see “I was a tenor in a nudist barbershop quartet that performs at the aquarium, in the manatee tank,” then I would bring you in for an interview.

6) Don’t Put “Proficient in Microsoft Word” 

This is mainly for Waterloo students with this on their resume. And yes, I had it on there at one point too. But seriously? If you have a pulse you should be proficient in Microsoft Word. Try replacing that line on your resume with a more unique skill.

7) Make sure your formatting looks nice 

Please make sure that all your bullet points are lined up and that all the headings are lined up. If I see a resume with formatting errors I assume the person wrote it while they were drunk and also probably has a gambling addiction. No interview for them.

8) Don’t include a picture 

This might seem obvious as well, but unless the job you’re applying for is for an actor, model, or prostitute, don’t include a picture. And if you’re a prostitute with a resume, good for you.

9) Don’t Exaggerate or Lie 

It may seem like a good idea at the time, but it will come back to haunt you. If you are “Secretary” of some school club and you list one of your duties as “coordinated meetings and budgeted club funds,” when all you really did was sit around with 5 other people and eat pizza, then please remove that from your resume.

10) Correct Contact Info 

Make sure your phone number, email, and address are all correct. How much would it suck to have a great resume and never hear back from anyone because you got one number wrong? A lot.

These are my top ten resume tips. If you found them useful, pass this post along to your friends.

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One Response to “Top Ten Resume Tips”

  1. Karen December 5, 2012 at 9:49 pm #

    That “prostitute with a resume” line is genius. Funny stuff. 🙂

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