27 Police Jobs that Rank Higher than “Library Cop”

23 May

I was at a library and a “Library Cop” kept giving me a hard time about plugging in my laptop to the wall. He said the cord was obstructing foot traffic – in the geography section. I was upset. Below are 27 police-related jobs that rank higher than library cop. In order.

  1. Cop
  2. Mall Cop
  3. Bathroom Attendant in a Police Station
  4. An editor editing a crime novel
  5. Stay-at-Home Mom
  6. Police Dog
  7. Police Dog Washer
  8. Police Dog who dropped out of police dog school and became a seeing-eye dog for a guy pretending to be blind so he can get money
  9. The security guard in the Mr.Bean movie who got diarrhea
  10. A kid wearing a cop costume on halloween
  11. A kid wearing a cop costume everyday because of poor social skills
  12. A kid wearing a stay-at-home mom costume on halloween
  13. A whore in film noir movie
  14. A Dunkin’ Doughnut’s employee 
  15. Ben Stiller in Starsky and Hutch
  16. The guy who points how ridiculous horse cops are
  17. A dead roadie who set up amps for The Police
  18. Everyone capable of citizen’s arrest
  19. Guys who didn’t make the force and became bouncers.
  20. A girl scout who throws thin mints at homeless people
  21. Denis Leary
  22. The take-a-number machine at a deli
  23. TSA agents
  24. A walnut
  25. A bookshelf
  26. A teakettle 
  27. Bicycle-Built-for-Two Cops
  28. Library Cops

 

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One Response to “27 Police Jobs that Rank Higher than “Library Cop””

  1. harrisalterman May 23, 2013 at 4:32 pm #

    Reblogged this on The Manhattan Comedy School Intern.

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