Tag Archives: relationships

The Downside of Dating a Measuring Cup

12 Nov

Some people like boys. Some people like girls. Some people like both. And some people like objects. They are known as “Object Sexuals” and I think they have the right idea. There is a women who is LEGALLY MARRIED to the Eiffel tower. There is a women who has a OPEN RELATIONSHIP with an archery bow.

Wouldn’t life be so much simpler by dating inanimate objects? Mostly yes, but even then relationship problems could arise…..

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“I think Dave is cheating on me, scoundrel going behind my back like that.”

“Well he is a back massager.”

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“Craig broke up with me, he said he had outgrown me. 2 years down the drain, but what do you expect from an oak tree.”

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“He…..he…he beat me, he BEAT me, when we first started dating he promised he only ever did that to eggs.”

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“Well we went to dinner and a movie and he made me pay for myself for both. You would expect more from a wallet.”

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“Our relationship has been a little rocky since Greg has gone through his-midlfe crisis, he went out and bought himself a new pair of wheels…..but you know Bicycles.”

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“I like Jerry but he always smokes after sex.”

“Which one is Jerry?”

“The oven.”

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